


there are no stupid questions

by Hugabug



Series: bayaniserye drabble challenge [16]
Category: Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: Good Bye, IM OUT, Multi, finally last one, im done, last one, nonong made this super pg, ty nonong, u lil shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 10:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7529083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hugabug/pseuds/Hugabug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>except when there are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there are no stupid questions

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woiMmEwli6s)

“I mean, when we bought our apartment, we had to go and measure our bed–”

“ _Oh, god_!” the gasp was sudden and sharp, like the young woman before them had somehow suffered a coronary in the five seconds Goyong had started talking.

Next to him, Ed raised an eyebrow. “Are you–”

“You two are a couple!” the woman continued, practically vibrating. With delight or shock, Goyong wasn’t sure. He hoped it was neither, honestly.

“Yeah,” he said, tightening the arm he had around Ed’s waist, feeling his boyfriend instinctively mold himself against him, warily. “Um… For about seven years now.”

The young woman laughed. “Oh,” she said, snorting. “I thought you were brothers!”

Ed laughed, nervously. “Um… No?”

“Not brothers?”

“Not brothers.”

The woman smiled, condescending. “Are you _sure_?”

Goyong grimaced. “Pretty sure.”

* * *

“So we thought we should start with the peonies and then add on the petunias!”

Paco smiled, small but polite enough to hide how his confusion. “Um… Sure, Mr. Hernando.”

But the old man visibly faltered, like he’d been back handed with a tongue in cheek comment. He fiddled a bit, with the gold ring on his left finger, darting his eyes from Paco to his son, before steeling himself with a smile and imploring again.

“Do you… Do you think the colours match?”

Paco frowned. “Why’re you asking–”

Joven cleared his throat. Gave him a _look_.

Paco blinked. “ _Ooohhh_ –”

* * *

“So how do you and Ate Feli have sex?”

Hillaria stopped, the clear wires pinched between her fingers, surprise all over her face. “ _Excuse me_?”

A very clearly drugged up Vicente blinked up at her, blearily. “I mean,” he began, sluggishly bringing his hands up to his face and curving each one into a letter “c”. Then, he began slapping them together. “This… This isn’t sex, is it?”

Hillaria lowered his morphine levels and punched him.

* * *

“So… Are you into threesomes?”

The entire bar got a lecture that day. Antonio and Juan couldn’t pull an angry Pepe off the top of the bar tender fast enough.

* * *

“Graciano is…?”

Naning blinked. “Graciano.”

The stranger blinked. “No, but what _is_ he?”

“… Human?” Okiyo tried, bemused.

“No but… What’s in his…”

“He’s not high, if that’s what you mean.” Okiyo was quick to defend, shaking her head, horrified. “That’s just the way he talks!”

“No!” The stranger cut her off, visibly frustrated. “What’s in between his… His legs?”

Naning recoiled. “Oh.” he said, taking a swig of beer.

Okiyo recoiled, too, annoyed. “None of your business?”

* * *

When they buzzed the intern in, they weren’t expecting this.

“I need an outfit for the Christmas party, can you help, po?”

Pole raised an eyebrow. “Why’re you asking–”

Miong, without looking up from his papers, reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

Pole paused. “ _Ooohhh_ –”

* * *

“Ba’t mo sila dini-defend? _Bading ka, noh_?”

They exchanged glances, and Manuel let go of Jose’s arm.

“Go get, ‘im bunso.” he said, shrugging.

Jose left with a black eye. The other guy left in an ambulance.

* * *

“You’re ok with Andoy…” her classmate asked, trailing off.

Oryang frowned. “Am I ok with?”

Classmate shrugged, nonchalant, even though cold sweat had broken across his forehead. “I wouldn’t be comfortable dating a girl who dated a girl before.”

“Oh.” Oryang raised an eyebrow, crossed her arms across her chest. “I doubt anybody would want to date _you_.”

* * *

“So, who’s the girl and who’s the guy?”

Nonong frowned. “We’re both guys.”

The old crone before him laughed, uncomfortable, before trying to cover it up with a confident swirl of his whiskey. “I mean,” he said, smiling as charming as he could. “Who pitches and who catches?”

“ _Oh_ ,” Nonong chuckled, swirling his own glass of whiskey before bringing it up to his lips to hide his smirk. “Well, that depends, you know? I mean, we’re pretty versatile but Serging enjoys frottage more than anal, you know?”

The old crone choked. “Right–”

“Anal takes too much work, honestly.” Nonong continued with an exaggerated sigh. “With the lubing and the foreplay– I mean, you don’t wanna suddenly get big inside him! I don’t wanna hurt him. My Serging is far from delicate, mind you, but he’s so pliant in bed you just wanna take care of him–”

“I-I see–”

“– But I do like a good head. He has an amazing mouth, let me tell you about it–”

(“Why does Buencamio look like a tomato?”

Pole sighed, downed his red wine. “Nonong.”

Miong raised an eyebrow. “And why’re you drinking?”

Another sigh, another glass of liquor. “ _Nonong_.”)

* * *

“Oh, hey! He’s good looking!”

Goyong raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were into vaginas?”

Feli punched him, and her Kuya, without looking, made an appreciative noise.

“Nice right hook.”

* * *

The woman laughed, and, somehow, she made even that sound lewd.

“So,” she drawled, leering at them, vodka in her hand, like that drunk aunt you can always find at any family reunion. “Let me guess.” she pointed at Naning, winking. “You’re the twink.”

Selong sputtered. “ _Excuse_ –”

“And _you’re_  the bear leather daddy.”

She grinned, expectantly, and Naning sighed. Shrugged.

“Well,” he said, turning to his lover. “She’s not wrong.”

Selong turned red and the woman laughed once more.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr ver.](http://en-sam-malas.tumblr.com/post/147642891450/there-are-no-stupid-questions)
> 
> thanks for all who prompted. even though i hated myself majority of the time during this challenge, and even though majority of the time not a lot of people bother to comment/kudos/notes i had fun. so thanks :))
> 
> im never doing this again. whew.


End file.
